To Be Truly Purrfect
by a kiss of winter
Summary: Catrine deMew was always a determined ghoul - and art was only her getaway... but, to be honest, as much as she loved to escape, she truly wished to connect even more so. She just didn't realize that sometimes dark sides can win.


**I've been meaning to write something with Catrine/Manny or angsty Catrine for a while now and when I heard a certain song, I was inspired *o* (likewise, of course, lol.)**

* * *

_"I know you care, I know it is always been there_  
_ But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it_  
_ You are just saving yourself when you hide it..."_

_-I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding_

**_~xoxo~_**

The lavender werecat bit the inside of her cheek as tears brimmed her powder blue eyes, blurring her vision. She let out a light mewl, followed by a whimper as she collapsed against the hospital bed, looking up at the blank white ceiling. The artist inside of her had fantasies of a sunset painted up above, and a flawless field, but that side of her was miniature now. It had diminished... when, exactly, she didn't quite now. But piece by piece, she realized, throughout the years, it had slipped away.

Every monster was right when they said that Catrine deMew was like a precious and fragile little china doll. She always took it as a playful job, however now, she had realized that they were all right.

She had thought she was strong, but she had lived in the world of paints and colors too long, never bothering to look up and realize reality. She couldn't believe she hadn't figure it out sooner. And now, did it really come to this? Did she really resort to something so ... _terrifying?_

Her eyes closed and the world was completely gone to her. She wanted to escape, and not into her passion of art. She wanted to... leave it all.

A warm, soft and caring touch caressed her cheek, elicting a light purr from her and she rubbed against it, in her usual feline manner. Catrine didn't even need to open her eyes to know who this was, and to be honest, it was the last monster she wanted to see.

...However, he was persistent and just the smallest kiss on the cheek made her break down. Tears flowed freely and she was held in a comforting embrace, but it didn't help none. She could feel vibrations against his chest, signaling that he was speaking, but she didn't want to know what he had to say. It was probably going to be something she had already heard or knew, or even a question she would never have an answer to.

Although, he wouldn't stop. He even slightly tilted her head up, for their expressions to meet and Catrine lost it. The way Manny was torn, it was so unlike him. He was tough, strong, fearless... but to see his kitten hurt was an exception.

"Why did you do it, Cat?" he said, and oh, how she longed to hear his voice. She was sick and tired of reading lips all her life. Seventeen years, and so much longer to go. It was tiring and made her feel so helpless. Like she had no other option and was completely vulnerable. She had lost a connection to the world that so many other monsters had taken for granted.

"Don't ask me that." she rashly whispered, nuzzling back into his chest - her hot tears staining his red t-shirt. And even out of everyone she had met over the years, she always wished - constantly throughout each and everyday - to hear her own voice. She had figured she had the typical charming Scarisian accent that others had gushed over. She wasn't sure if it was elegant, or rough, maybe even beautiful with a mix of the two tones. She would never know. Not ever. Unless, of course, there was some type of miracle. Which was another term for impossible.

Manny ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead softly, making her mewl and purr once more, however the tears never ceased. They fell down her pristine white cheeks, staining them and clouding her enchanting azure eyes. She sat there, with her lover, in complete silence. It was hard to believe that it had been almost a week since Catrine had done ... _it_ and still, not a single soul knew why she had gone through something like that.

"I'm sorry." she murmured between her sobs.

Catrine could feel Manny sigh and she flickered her gaze up to look at him, and she expertly read his lips as the words that escaped him broke her heart once more.

"I was scared for you, Cat. Just promise me you're not ever going to do that again. You didn't need to resort to-" She cut him with a single finger on his lips and shook her head. She didn't want him to say it. That was something she didn't want to read, or hear, or anything. She just couldn't face the truth on what she had done.

...

She just wanted what she had strived for.

But still, Manny shook his head. "You didn't have to hurt yourself, did you, kitten?"

Catrine's powder blue eyes filled up with a waterfall of tears now and she let out a light wail, burying her face in her hands shamefully. The bandages covering her arms were enough torture, but did he have to bring it up? She didn't want to be even more reminded of it. She had lost connection to the world already, what did a little more matter? Why did everyone have to feel so worried now? It was no different, in her eyes.

"Just go." she hissed, as tears bled throughout the gaps of her fingers. "Leave me."

She felt her boyfriend lightly nudge her, but she shrugged him off. She refused to look at anyone, read what they had to say, or even feel the guilt of what she had done. She just wasn't so sure if she had regretted it or not. Catrine had always told herself she could go through anything if she had tried - that she wouldn't let being deaf hold her back.

...But it seemed like the demons inside had won that battle.

* * *

**I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M WRITING SO MUCH SAD - I'M SORRY.**


End file.
